In the middle of the ending and new starting

People used to say, there are so many challenges when someone is getting married..

Some may have problems with their husband-to-be, some may have problems with financing, so forth.

Yeah..since I'm making my way to the wedding day, I admit that there are so, so many obstacles that I am still facing right now, in which I don't know when will it end.

Just right after the bride side had come to set the wedding date, all of the troubles come one by one and stay till this moment.

First, I have problems by which my parents wanted to postpone the date. Then, they wanted to bring forward. Then, we have troubles with financing. After we sought out things, actually we over calculated some part of the budgets. Next,my brother out of the sudden decided to get married together on the same day of my wedding day. At first, I agreed. But after I saw my parents kinda hairwire about the cost and all, I started to disagree with my brother's wedding. Well, they just know each other. My brother is still too young. I'm not bother much bout the girl as it is a normal thing when female get married early. The things that I most disagree is that, she is a girl from felda in which I know the bridals in felda's are cheaper than the city. She asked for rm10,000 hantaran and her family knows that my brother is still studying. Thus, my father is the one that is going to loan from people for that amount of money. On 2nd June, they have engaged and I didn't know or shall I say I didn't help any single thing during the ceremony. Me,myself didn't know whether am I just too ego or am I still mad at my family and the girl's family.

I know, as a daughter, I have no authority on anything. I should obey my parents and my brother as he will be the wali if smthg happen. But still, I can't accept the thing that he wanted to get married joyously without spending single cents for his own wedding. I;m not favour it ya...

And till now actually, I'm kinda not giving my bless to both of them. I know I can be blamed for some reasons if all of them are mad at me, but seriously, they should consider me, how I struggle to set evrythg in place while they happily sitting on the pelamin that I pay, smile gracefully for the photography that I pay...... I am considerate, but to certain extent. 

Because of his sudden decision about the wedding, I am the one is now seen as the 'evil' side of the story to my family. Most of the realtives might think that I am not tolerant at all. But actually, before the issue rise, I have been begging the whole family till death, but no one even listened to me. When I started to make the chaos in the family, then only they started to blame all things from the mantel of the earth to me So, bla,bla, bla,...so long the story that I don't feel like typing it.

Now, at this certain moment, the result is they are going to get married on December while my wedding will stay on October. I just hope that this stay still. Really, I just wanna settle down and live new life though I know there are more test that will Allah gives to me, but at least I can solve this matter once and for all. 

Though I know that there are parts that is my fault, I'm not tolerate, but, yeah..they have their own desire and so am I. Right? No..I know. I just wanna feel better in which they are the one should feel it.